i need to ACT according to what i believe.
sick of acting impulsively,
ill-disciplined, and self-destructive.

did another interview for dad today.
ashamed of knowing him better through his biblio.
in a positive light,
i m inpsired by him, him and his art consciousness.
and honoured to be dad's secretary.

to do:
1) doing summary for readings
2) flu vaccination to be taken
3) call MOE, which department to call,its an inaccessible tower.
4) stop online shopping
5) and follow up paneldiscussion on fri.
6) take home exam will occupy my ntire weekend. need to prepare.

in the midst of preparation for exams.

this birthday, i just want to list the blessings that i have.

1) the ileaders. who are the best pple to travel with. also, there was a bk of 23 dares. can u beat that! cheers to pple w dream, passion and oomph! they made me feel like i m 17 again, w mambo night.it will be interesting to see where each of one ends up doing in 3 years time.
2) the cross pendant specially picked by boonie and james. Thank God that B is going to church :) its fortunate to have seen her mature this 1 year.
3) the interns, and their surprises.
4) buddy for the pretty purple diary. i m brainstorming of a name for the diary. they come w memory verses.
5) bffff. who assured that the day was only gonna get better. i preempted S's surprise when peeped out of the balcony. thanks for the meaningful book,cake and hand-made card. i dig drawings and handmade stuffs.
part 2: caught defending the cavemen, then ECP, as we were left with nth to bite on a fri, at 11pm. yes, we just wanna get away from the crowd. Thanks for being such an accountable friend.
Defending the caveman was funny.depicted gender stereoptyped behaviors stemming from the fact that men are born hunters (killing channels, having 2000 words a day) , and women gatherers ( shopping, imaginative, emotional, and nding to max out 5000 words/day). 6) my wish in serving God @new church. am joining choir, and testing my vocal range next week. bffff was amused by the lady sitting beside.Rxtive feminist.
7) blessing me w a trip to China overseas study mission. organising is an experience on its own. Thnk God for Anne , it has been a pleasure working with her.
8) Planning of Dad's exhibition is smooth.
9) being financially provided in situations when i choose to glorify God e.g. going for batam retreat..for mission.
10) supportive family. They are so dear to me. Lord, grant me courage to share the Gospel fearlessly to them.
God is good all the time, i just have to count my blessings.

pending stuff to do/clear/pass w flying colors
1) pe test
2) 2 assignments: early lang and psyc assessmt
3) clinical neuro ppt
4) china trip planning
5) nike run
6) iphone
7) retreat

my birthday wish list..only one item.
i m faithful.
iPhone. iPhone. and iPhone

its week 7, where there are tests and assignments galore.
its my last sem..which made me take things more easily.
no its meant to b a paradox.
just came bk from KL fun, during the raya break.
lesser spotlight effect, settled down in a new church,
made many trustworthy and God loving friends.
partied more too.
its the best time of my life i must agree.
i m set in taking things easy this sem.
but someone appeared and distracted me.:x
planning for study mission is here, too.
my anxiety is here.
I wanna get Aces despite studying lesser.
I feel younger, n more rejuvenated.
in a week's time, i m 23 chronologically.
but 21 mentally.
prepping to start working life,
is like stepping into adulthood once again.
tht feeling.

God pls guide me and grant me peace.
Help me to listen to you.

The trip to China has been confirmed!
Will be planning for ilead batch 4's study mission,
to Shanghai and Beijing.
We will be visiting companies
From Facebk equivalent, Xiaonei, to google's equivalent, Baidu.
From social networking start-ups
to Venture Capitalists, clean tech and IT companies!
Tsing Hua uni will be an eye-opener, after Stanford uni:)

"Zhongguancun” doesn’t roll off the Western tongue easily,
but it will soon be an address that technology investors must learn.
For 25 years, locales from Singapore to the south of France
have tried to create their own Silicon Valleys,
but the original’s remarkable spirit has never been duplicated.
China, however, is putting the finishing touches on its own Silicon Valley —
and this time, they may have found the recipe.

The Zhongguancun district is in the northwest corner of Beijing
not far from the old Chinese emperors’ Summer Palace.
It is already populated by thousands of high-tech companies
local firms large and small, as well as international outposts
of companies ranging from Microsoft and Sun to Siemens and NEC.
But now, in the heart of Zhongguancun,
sleek new buildings are rising around prestigious Tsinghua University,
creating what will be a world-class technology incubator.

“We need a culture that gives small companies the confidence to succeed.”
That, of course, is part of Silicon Valley’s secret sauce
an entrepreneurial infrastructure that can take a company
from napkin doodle to business cards and a health plan in a week.

The other ingredient is a strong academic institution.
Silicon Valley was born at Stanford and some of its first companies
were launched in an industrial park that Stanford built in the early 1950s.
Tsinghua University is arguably China’s single most prestigious school:
out of the 7 million Chinese students who qualify for college each year,
only two thousand are admitted to Tsinghua. And while Tsinghua is best-known
for science and engineering, like Stanford it also offers a top-drawer business school.
And, just as does Stanford, Tsinghua not only allows but encourages its professors and students to start companies.

Unlike Silicon Valley, however, Tsinghua is starting with another strong advantage:
“sea turtles.” That’s the local nickname for the native-born Chinese
who receive educations in the United States and return to start companies in China.
One reason is that it’s much cheaper to start a company in China than in Silicon Valley.
The classic sea-turtle is Charles Zhang, who graduated from MIT in 1994
and returned to China to launch Sohu.com with a few hundred thousand dollars;
the Internet portal is now worth half a billion dollars.“Chinese engineers work harder for less.”
The biggest investments are being made in such key areas such as advanced chip design, biotechnology and nanotechnology.

Finally, China brings an element to the table that few other nations can match:
a sufficiently large domestic market such that it can actually create
its own standards for technology and make them stick.
Traditionally, Europe, Japan and the United States
have always created technology standards
how television or cell phone signals are broadcast,
for example, or the formats for CDs and DVDs.
But China is now developing its own standards for technologies
such as digitized video and next-generation cell phones.
Foreign manufacturers will have to adopt those standards
if they wish to sell to the Chinese. Sooner or later,
one of those home-grown standards may go international,
giving Chinese companies even more power.

Part 2 of post-grad trip will be to Japan, w Gladys :)
Let the wander-lust travellers unite.
Thts immediately after coming bk from China, all in Dec.
Accomodation will b @ Kei's!
shall start saving! *discipline*

brutal and arbitrary. My sister's keeper is an enlightening movie.
one of the few that deserves 5 stars!
The movie struck me:
While seeking the truth, I pray that the Holy spirit guides me
in seeking God's will, in situations, irregardless whether we have control.

Along the way, a young girl's harsh fate is powerfully,
paradoxically contrasted with the fierce,
unfailing love of her mother and her family.
There is a quiet strength in a film like this one,
a film that unflinchingly focuses on a tragedy without succumbing
to the feel-good Hollywood formula that demands a happy, sappy ending.
And there is a certain wonder in characters
coming to peace with horrible things they don't want
and cannot understand. Kate does this before she dies,
and her family gradually does the same after her death.

Though the film's spiritual themes are merely peripheral—
and God's salvation message is never presented as a means
to understanding or coming to terms with death—they nonetheless
prompted me to ponder the fact that God owes us no answers
for the incomprehensible and painful events He sometimes allows in our lives.
There is mystery in His decisions, mystery we must accept.
Some of us live and some of us die, as Anna says, and we may never have any idea why.

Acceptance is one response to such imponderables,
a destination Kate reaches before her passing.
Denial, the road Sara walks, is another.
When we, like Sara, desperately cling to the way we think life ought to be,
we can become so myopically focused on its disappointments that we miss the bigger picture.

Indeed, up until the very end, Sara is so intent upon saving Kate
that she's rarely (if ever) actually present in the moment with her daughter.
The possibility of joy and grace amid the pain gets squelched by
Sara's determination to maintain control—
not to mention her desperate decision to create and manipulate life for her own purposes.

Despite those very real flaws, however, Sara is a deeply compelling character in her own right,
a mother whose love for her dying daughter is indomitable.
And who are we to say we wouldn't react similarly in her shoes?
Sometimes, though, a child does die. The world is at times indescribably painful.
And in a culture obsessed with knowledge and control, the inevitability of loss and death is a hard thing to come to grips with.

My Sister's Keeper models what it might look like to grapple
with such heartrending losses with dignity and grace.
Even when the answers remain elusive, there comes a point when,
perhaps after fighting fiercely, we, like Sara,
finally relax our grip and open our hearts to a path different than the one we'd once mapped out.

31 Aug marks the passing of Rascal.
We decided to put her to sleep.
Rascal was never used to being outside our garden
all these 10 years of her life.
She came as a new-born puppy and we saw her
mischiefs, her faithfulness,
Her being fat, and finally, stick thin.
Hence, even by Rascal's deathbed, Jud ensured that
she was there to keep her company.
Jud saw how Rascal fell asleep peacefully
and never woke up again.
I took comfort in her death,
because Rascal was sick,
and I am not ashame to say that
my family members showered her
with tender loving care while
nursing her. We never once gave her up.
Alas, a painful decision was made.
It was an instant of how loving means letting go.

Here's an ode to Rascal.We know you are in heaven now:)

We love thee agreeably enough to let your stinky doghide on the bed after a run through the damp leaves and muddy pond.

We love thee steadfastly enough to devote 10 years to raising you from a wobbly speck into a strong healthy adult.

We love thee for your interesting liking for food such as soya milk, apple, durian, cucumber.

We love thee passionately despite your repeated efforts to probe my ears, eyes and mouth with the same tongue you use for various other atrocities.

We love thee well despite the amazing odors you produce.

We love thee deeply though you use me/Jud as a napkin at every opportunity.

We love thee madly despite the various bodily functions you have performed at inappropriate moments in inappropriate places (even at the doorstep, and everywhere except where the grasspatches are)

We love thee truly despite the "doggie landmines" hidden in the grass.

We love thee absolutely because you were our mice/rat-hunter. You never gave up on them even when you lost your sight.

We love thee gratefully because you stay by our side.

We love thee devotedly more than clean carpeting, clothing, furniture, floors or walls. We enjoyed scrubbing you more.

We love thee bravely enough to battle the indomitable flea on your behalf.

We love thee openly we will bear any embarrassment for your furry sake (esp when u were shedding fur).

We love thee totally more than free time, excess cash or a predictable life.

You were our inspiration for you literally struggle to stand up and find your sense of direction while remaining optimistic even when your world was dark. For you never gave up on yourself, we knew we must be there till your last breath.

The boy with Intellectual impairment.
He has learning difficulties, but is artistically inclined.
He tries hard to make friends, but ends up being bullied.
He fights to gain attention from peers, but often ends up being excluded. His parents woes are eminent for the boy is different from other children.Like other parents, they want their child to be successful;to be doctors, lawyers.
But the academic and outcome oriented school setting, does not tolerate it, and contribute to their key performance indicator.

when parents come w terms in enrolling him to special school for the child to learn some functional academic.

Back after a long hiatus.

Volunteered at the Asian youth game, at Swisshotel to have the atheletes' temperature taken.
The floor i was designated to, housed the atheletes from UAE, Qatar and Indonesia.

The atheletes in their teenage years exudes vibrance. Received some olympic collar pins from the representatives from Pakistan, and UAE. sweeties (with blue eyes and all):)
Took some pics w Bahrainian girls, and Frasia the Lion. The fun part was chatting with the atheletes from different countries. Their behavior and demeanor expressed much abt their culture and affluency.Behind every athlete i sensed that there is a story behind each of them. Though they are in their early teenage years, some carried the 'worn' look, masking their real age.Most of them started training even as soon as they cld start walking— a story of perseverance by unheralded athletes and of youthful inexperience and grace.
They were bashful when facing the media, but boldly held their big dreams close to their hearts.
Good luck atheletes, and see you in next year's Youth Olympic in Singapore :)
After the event, i had some (coolbreeze)booze at my fav hangout again!The snacks are real addictive (u just cant stop at one).Also shared a conversation w a buddy who leads an alternative lifestyle, while watching the night view.Interestingly,i felt warped while putting myself in his shoes.

its volleyball after work today. Ready for some digging,setting and smashing!

i need to spend more time w my rascal,for the last few times.

kee needs to learn to take care of myself more.
being responsible for self,family,and God.
thanks mom for the reminder.

anyway,its only week8 and end of new prod dev lecture.
so many things have happened.
met ex-cell grp leader,eunice.(she's getting married,and got a nice house,Hallelujah)
presentation for impt project.(i hope we get it)
learning to be less hesitant bt things.
handling assignments/tests.
being graceful despite experiencing hypocrisy.yikes.
insomnia for a night.

catching delirious worship session on sun:)
'm feeling sweet upon the rock.